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The Intermittent Kevin

As randomly and rarely updated as most blogs

...wherein hujhax writes an awesome birthday present
Somewhere during the 15 minutes of fame I also had my 31st birthday (one of the pretexts for the Lego trip in the first place). hujhax, by way of wishing happy birthday, featured me in his damn hilarious weekly blog post, "Spanish for Everyday Situations."

hujhax is LJ-friend locked at the moment, so I reproduced the post below. Check out http://hujhax.livejournal.com/tag/spanish for more weekly Spanish hilarity.

This week's situation: "You have tracked down the person who stole your iPhone!"

Do you realize how much Lego-building time you've cost me?
¿Te das cuenta cuánto tiempo para construcción con Legos que me costabas?

You really want to keep a phone whose ringtone is permanently set to "The Final Countdown"?
¿Está seguro de que desea mantener un teléfono con un tono de llamada que está permanentemente ajustado a «La Cuenta Atrás Final»?

Of course I knew it was stolen. A lost iPhone would just naturally migrate to the nearest Starbucks.
Por supuesto, sabía que era robado. Una iPhone pérdido migraría naturalmente a la Starbucks más cercana.

'Blackmail' is such a dirty word. All I'm saying is, the built-in GPS told us the locations of your vicarage residence and your favorite strip club.
'Chantaje' es una palabra sucia. Todo lo que digo es, el GPS incorporado nos ha dicho la lugares de su residencia de párroco y su club favorito de striptease.

Every thief gets cocky. In your case, you used my Twitter app to post "omg I stole an iPhone" to my Twitter account, with a map link included.
Cada ladrón se engreído. En su caso, utilizó mi aplicación de gorjeo para enviar «odm me robaron un iPhone» a mi cuenta de gorjeo, con un vínculo de lugar incluido.

Don't you feel any sympathy? I was disconnected from Facebook for literally hours!
¿No siento ninguna simpatía? Yo estaba desconectado de caralibro para literalmente horas!

Easy, now. It's not like this is some amazing Korean smartphone that's actually worth shooting somebody over.
¡Tranquilo! No es como se trata de uno teléfono inteligente coreano y increíble que vale la pena disparar a alguien.

Yes, I'll let you finish this round of Flight Control first. I'm not a monster.
Sí, puedes terminar esta ronda de Control de Vuelo. No soy un monstruo.

Note: As always, these 'translations' are basically just Google Translator output, so corrections are welcome.